Cool Definations

School:

A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 

Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 

Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either' 

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 

Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work. 

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 

Father:

A banker provided by nature. 

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life..

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes. 

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions. 

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

A JEALOUS HUSBAND

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video.
They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man!
He saw the two of them laughing in the park.
He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.
He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.
He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"