The SMS and CHAT generation is going to love this....messaging becomes so easy...and fast in all the countries..in a single language...WOW..
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. This will sertainly make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new s pelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Corporate Love Letter
In today's world of MBA's, the old fashioned Love-Letter is being replaced by such 'Corporate' Love-Letters, go ahead and read on.
Dearest Ms. _____,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. Since the 25th of December 2008. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 24 th of December 2008 at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of all your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without any further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Tapori wrote a love letter to his girl friend
Apun Karta Hai Love Tumse
Bolay to Ma Kasam Se
Pooch Apun Ke Heart Se
Akha Ek Ek Part Se
Ander Sapno Mein Tu Hai
Bahar Bolay To Bhi Tu Hai
Yeh Wrong Nahin Right Hai
Love apun ka Two Side Hai
Teray bina apun ki Zindagi
Ek dam Black And White Hai
Ab ek dam bolta hai tum ko
Apun Tere Liye Mad Hai
Teray bin apun ki akha life
Ek tragedy kay mafiq sad hai
Tu Na Ho Front Mein
To Full Day Bad Hai
Apun Karta Hai Love Tumse
Bolay to Ma Kasam Se
Pooch Apun Ke Heart Se
Akha Ek Ek Part Se
Ander Sapno Mein Tu Hai
Bahar Bolay To Bhi Tu Hai
Neck Exercise
A doctor advises his patients to exercise their neck by just reading this message.
In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications. 'It is very effective,' said the doctor.
'My patients never come back to me again.'
Scroll down...
Scroll down some more..............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BEST INTERVIEW - Office Humor :)
JUST GO THROUGH IT , YOU WILL ENJOY
One of the best interviews!! !
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard Of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission Into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! In 12th.I Was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to Call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this College. Frankly speaking this
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your Engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you Know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis Tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try To keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches Really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I Would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job For me in BEST (Bus corporation in
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education Itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have You worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current Platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can See I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the Places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher Version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new Language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the Language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times They are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech Ltd. Since Joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call And use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have Deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I Would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to Avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US,
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS .. :-))
Men always have better friends....They will stand by you no matter what....!!!!
Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend’s apartment
overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.
Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still
with them!!
Some of the Best Moments in Life:
* To laugh until it hurts your stomach.
* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation
* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
* To listen to your favorite song in the radio
To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside
To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm.
* To clear your last exam
To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.
* To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year .
* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))
To laugh without a reason
* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.
* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.
* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.
* To be part of a team.
* To watch the sunset from the hill top.
* To make new friends.
* To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.
* To pass time with your best friends.
* To see people that you like, feeling happy.
* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.
* See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.
* To take an evening walk along the beach.
* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
* To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.
These are the best moments of life....
Let us learn to cherish them.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)