********** SOFTWARE ENGINEER AND HIS WIFE **********

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time. 


Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.


Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer .

HELLO

 This is one of the best explanations of why God 
allows pain and suffering that I have seen.... 

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. 

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. 

They talked about so many things and various subjects.  

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:  

'I don't believe that God exists.'  

'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 

'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? 

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. 
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.' 

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.  

The barber finished his job and the customer left the  
shop. 

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. 

He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'  

'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber..  'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!'  

'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'  



'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.' 

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer.  
'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! 

That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.  

That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.' 

If you think God exists, send this to other  
people--- 

If you think God does not exist, delete it!  



BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!

To bEgIn WiTh...........I beLiEve iN yOu!!!

To Begin With

Words jump out at me. When I heard someone

today say, "To begin with..." my thoughts

turned to all the possibilities.

To begin with...FAITH!

You cannot say that you have faith if when 

you fall you give up. Faith means you 

will be given the strength to rise, or the

hand to be lifted up. But don't lie there

waiting. God provides for the smallest

bird, but He doesn't throw the seed into the 

nest. They were created to fly.

To begin with...HOPE!

Trust that in all things there is hope. Even 

when we cannot see the opportunity, there it

is in the out stretched hand, the listening 

ear, the smiling face, the sunrise.

To begin with...LOVE!

If you cannot see love in your life perhaps 

you need to put life in your love. Begin 

by accepting who you are and all you can be.

This confidence will give you the power to 

love outside yourself. Love is not love until

it is given away. To love is to honor God.

To begin with...FRIENDSHIP!

If you want to have friends, BE ONE!

Sometimes friendship, like love, appears one sided.

Sometimes people need more than they give.

Trust that in doing for another the act 

is the gift you give yourself.

To begin with....THE PRESENT!

Where you are at the moment is a result of 

where you have been. We only have the past

and the present. No one is guaranteed tomorrow.

Learn from yesterday and 

begin anew with the Present.

To begin with...LOSS!

Succumb to the feelings of loss. The heart 

cannot heal until pain is acknowledged.

Tears are not a sign of weakness 

but an acceptance of the reality, 

a release for the bereaved. 

Faith, Hope, Love and Friendship

will be your strength in the Present. 

Even in 

loss there is much to be gained. 

To begin with...

"I believe in you!"

TIPS! SMS ShortCuts.......!!

1dRfl - wonderful
2 - to/too/two
2dA - today
2moro - tomorrow
2nite - tonite
3dom - freedom
4 - for
4get - forget
4N - foreign
ADN - any day now
AFAIK - as far as I know
AFAIR - as far as I recall
ASAP - as soon as possible
ATM - at the moment
B - be
B4 - before
B4N - bye for now
BB - bye-bye
Bf -boyfriend
BG - big grin
BION - believe it or not
BK - big kiss
BTDT - been there, done that
BTW - by the way
By - busy
C - see/sea
CB - call back
CUL - see you later
CWYL - chat with you later
DUZ - does
DUZNT - doesn't
F2F - free to talk?
G2G - got to go
Gf - girlfried
Gr8 - great
Grr - angry
H2 - how to
HUH - have you heard?
IC - I see
ICCL - I couldn't care less
IK - I know
ILU (or ILY) - I love you
in4ml - informal
KISS - keep it simple, stupid
KUTGW - keep up the good work
@ "At"
MSG "Message"
W "With"
ATB "All the best"
NE "Any"
W/O "Without"
B "Be, Bee"
NETHNG "Anything"
WKND "Weekend"
BCNU "I'll be seeing you"
NE1 "Anyone"
XLNT "Excellent"
BWD "Backward"
NO1 "No-one"
XOXOX "Hugs and kisses"
B4 "Before"
OIC "Oh, I see"
YR "Your"
C "See, Sea"
PCM "Please call me"
1 "One, Won"
CU "See you"
PLS "Please"
2 "Too, To, Two"
DOIN "Doing"
PPL "People"


:) Original smiley
:-) Classic smiley
;-) Wink
:-)) Very happy
|-) Hee-hee
:-D Laugh loud
:-o Amazement
:^D" Great! I like it!
:-* Kiss
<3 I love you
:-s Confusion
{} No comment
:-C Totally unbelievable
:-X Big wet kiss
:-9 Licking lips
%-) Confused
*:* Fuzzy face
:-@ Screaming
:-7 Wry remark
:-p Sticking out tongue
:-( Frown
:> Develish grin
(:-|K- Dressed to kill
:-|| Angry
::=)) Seeing double
:-> Hey
|:-0 No explanation
#:-) Hair in a mess
>;-(' I am spitting mad
#-) Partied all night
:-| Hmmm
:-& Tongue-tied
L8 - late
L8r - later
LMK - let me know
M8 - mate
MOF - matter of fact
MT - empty
MTE - my thoughts exactly
NAGI - not a good idea
Ne - any
Ne1 - anyone
No1 - no one
nrg - energy
OIC - Oh I see
OK - okay
ONNA - oh no, not again!
OTT- over the top
PCM - please call me
Pls - please
Ppl - people
PTL - praise the Lord
R - are
Re - regarding
RUOK - are you okay?
Spk - speak
Sry - sorry
SWAK - sealed with a kiss
THX - thanks
TTYL - talk to you later
TXT - text
U - you
U@ - you at? (where are you?)
UOK - you okay?
UR - your/you're
Usu - usually
W8 - wait
W84M - wait for me
W/ - with
Wan2 - want to
wn - when
WMF - works for me
XLNT - excellent
Y - why
YM - you mean
YR - yeah, right
GONNA "Going to"
SUM1 "Someone"
3SUM "Threesome"
GR8 "Great"
STRA "Stray"
4 "For, Four"
H8 "Hate"
THNQ "Thank you"
:-) "I'm happy"
L8 "Late"
THX "Thanks"
:-o "I'm surprised"
L8R "Later"
U "You"
:-( "Sad face"
LUV "Love"
UR "You are "
d:) "Baseball cap "
MOB "Mobile"
WAN2 "Want to?"
;-/ "Confused"
2DAY "Today"
F2T "Free to talk"
RUOK "Are you okay?"
2MORO "Tomorrow"
FWD "Forward"
RGDS "Regards"


(:-... Heart-broken
%-) I'm tipsy but happy
#:-o Oh no!
:-# My lips are sealed
8-) Sender wears glasses
:+( I'm hurt by that
:*)? Are you drunk?
<:-0 Eeek!
:-e I'm disappointed
(-: Sender is left-handed
<:-) Dumb question
~o~ Bird
:@ Ouch!
:-(*) Sick comment
(:-) Bald
:// Frustrated
:3-< Dog
d:-) Hats off to your great idea
:-$ Put your money where your mouth is
:-{) Sender has moustache
|-| Going to sleep
:@) Pig
\o/ Praise the Lord
*<:o) Clown
:-{)} Sender has moustache & beard
:=8) Baboon
8^ Chicken
~#:-( Bad hair day
:'-( I am crying
:*) I' tipsy
:-o Oh
O:-) Innocent
&:-) Sender has curly hair

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,
Please answer the following questionnaire. Select (a), (b) or (c)

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.



Your score: For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it. 

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. 

Eagerly awaiting your reply..





Love, Aakash
************ *********


Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format...... ..

Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.



1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No


2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes (b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No


If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.


Hope everything is clear to you